Monday, January 24, 2011

Zoosk sends me spam saying that they've got 'new matches' for me. Will someone tell them that I am married, and that I'm not an arsonist?

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Zoosk sends me spam saying that they've got 'new matches' for me. Will someone tell them that I am married, and that I'm not an arsonist?

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Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Feltman Correspondence - Crucial Reading (Eventually)

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Be prepared. Or perhaps it's too late to be prepared for...

The FELTMAN CORRESPONDENCE

Note: The exciteing log above was created by Douglas Castle, author of the BRAINTENANCE Blog, utilizing graphics tools provided by Cooltext, at http://www.cooltext.com/ .



No...it's not the title of a new Robert Ludlum novel (What's that? Ludlum died? Oh....I'm so sorry. I shall have to send his wife a note. I was a big fan).

It is typical of how I am inclined to put things off, to the immoral detriment of my friends, who all too often find themselves victims, or players in a surreal YMCA camp rendition of the play "Waiting For Godot."

In the case which follows, my victim was one Peter Feltman, a friend and a Divisional President in TNNWC Group, LLC, a company in which I have a substantial interest. As Chairman and Director of Strategic Planning, I probably should anyway.

The letter which I sent to him, to wit:

Peter:


I'm now off to the gym to work out, after which I shall call you.


I am such a procrastinator -- I am going to seek professional help when I can get around to it.


Douglas

p.s. It took me until I was almost eighteen years old before I even learned how to tie my shoes. Sometimes I even tied them together, to eachother. Life is difficult when you're always missing the bus or late for the courthouse. Amen
-----

The moral of the story is "Do not procrastinate - your whole life can pass you by!"

Alternate morals might have been:

"Why put off for tomorrow, what you can actually put off for a whole week?" -or-

"No matter how much you procrastinate, you will eventually die, with or without adequate advance notice."


Faithfully,

Douglas Castle, a/k/a "Running Behind"

p.s. After I've gotten back from my trip, I am going to give serious thought to ending my battle with the ever-powerful urge to procrastinate. If there's a snowstorm or anything, I may have to delay the commencement of the implementation of this project.
***



Tags, Labels and Key Terms: procrastination, deferring the inevitable, cheating death (but getting caught, Peter Feltman, cool text graphics, running behind, TNNWC Group, Douglas Castle, blogs, when it's too late, freaky fonts, Braintenance, The Daily Burst Of Brilliance .001, TNNWC Gist Video, DouglasCastleBlogosphere, gaseous emission, biofuels, TNNWC BUZZWORKS, technullity, LINKS 4 LIFE, The Global Futurist, The Internationalist Page, RadioDAZZ, The Growth Masters, outrunning the reaper,




Originally published in:
Douglas Castle - THE DAILY BURST OF BRILLIANCE .001 http://aboutdouglascastle.blogspot.com/


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Thursday, January 20, 2011

"People are almost never whom them present themselves to be. They tend to talk about either whom they would like to be, or whom they would not like to be." - Douglas Castle

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Dear Friends, Members, Colleagues, Readers, Leaders and Entrepreneurs:

"People are almost never whom them present themselves to be. They tend to talk about either whom they would like to be, or whom they would not like to be." - Douglas Castle 

People have an uncanny tendency to present themselves to us, and to others, by pointedly denying their weaknesses and overstating their strengths. They ar trying to paint a picture for us.

This is not generally deliberate, it is unconscious defensive behavior. Most people, with the exception of true sociopaths, do this innocently. They try to give us evidence upon which to judge them before we have a chance to get to know them and to draw our own conclusions. The paradox here is that people are lonely -- they want someone, somewhere, to fully understand them -- yet, they are afraid to let their personalities and actions speak for themselves. Why? They are afraid of being judged or misunderstood.

This behavior is a pre-emptive, deeply inculcated self-defense and survival mechanism which is reinforced by society.

When you hear someone speak about himself or herself, particularly about their strengths, what they don't like in others, and all of such introductory "profile information," take note. These are their points of personal sensitivity, fear or denial.

Use this knowledge to work more effectively with them. It almost always works for your benefit, and for the growth and personal benefit of the other person.

This is indeed a brilliant observation about behavioral psychology, but then again, I am never one to boast or brag [irony, here. just kidding].

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

http://aboutdouglascastle.blogspot.com/
http://takingcommand.blogspot.com/
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Tags, Labels and Key Terms: behavioral psychology, deceptions, denial, first impressions, profiling personalities, better relationships, leadership, what motivates people, fears and phobias, self-growth, HR department, breaking down psychological defenses, understanding people, team-beuilding, leadership, Douglas E. Castle, quotations of Douglas Castle, TNNWC Services, TNNWC Buzzworks, Human relations, power and perception, reading people, sending signals, lying, self-defense, sociopathy, the inner-child, Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs, seeing through the fog, cues to personality, DouglasCastleBlogosphere, blogs, The National Networker Weekly Newsletter, DSM IV, persuasion, seduction, recruitment, friendships, business skills, Human Resources, choosing partners, reading between the lines,


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*******

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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

BRAINTENANCE ALERT: Elusive Genius In Our Genes!

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Braintenance Alert: Elusive Genius In Our Genes!

Note: A truly horrific pun (i.e., a groaner), just for the purposes of establishing a baseline, would be, "Yes, it's just like my nose, which runs in our family." Please read the correspondence which follows with this standard in mind. Condolences! -DC

Re: The Updated Gist Video Landing Page (Castle,Pontificating, in response to Mark Blankenship's compliments to Penny Ng, which follow in his original letter, forwarded)

Dear Mark:

Genius runs in our family. Sometimes it runs so fast that we can't seem to catch up with it. The current theory is that with the help of enough good friends, we may be able to apprehend it (once and for all), harness it and actually make practical use of it.

Happy landings!

Visit http://bit.ly/LethalNapkin for further details...

In friendship,

Douglas






--- On Mon, 1/17/11, Mark Blankenship wrote:

From: Mark Blankenship
Subject: The Updated Gist Video Landing Page
To: "Penny Ng"
Cc: "Adam Kovitz", "Douglas Castle"
Date: Monday, January 17, 2011, 8:11 PM

Hi Penny,
LOVE IT --- FANTASTIC.
Pat yourself on the back.
Mark






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Illegal Aliens Stole My Job! - And They Said It Couldn't Happen Here...SATIRE.

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Left, TopA photo of me while
I was still gainfully employed doing the
night shift at a swell take-out
burger joint. What did I know?






















Illegal Aliens Stole My Job! - And They Said It Couldn't Happen Here!

I was very happy with my job working the night shift at a swell burger joint in a high-volume area of mottled ethnicity.

After working in the kitchen there for only six months, I had gotten a pay increase of several cents per hour, an additional bathroom break each shift and a promotion to being one of the "special marketing representatives" who get to talk into the microphone at the take out window. I had been practicing the phrase "would like any extra ketchup packs with that?" over and over again. My mom even paid for me to have my teeth whitened.

Well, I was fit to be tied when, one day, out of nowhere, there was a sudden change in management (my old boss, Mr. Himmler, with all of the tattoos was let go when he was caught at a meeting of the neo-something-or-other club with some of his colleagues plotting some type of funny prank at a nearby government building - the FBI and Secret Service didn't think that the joke was was very funny, so they took Mr. Himmler away - and worse! - they confiscated several truckloads of nitrate-rich fertilizer from his storehouse. From what Mr. Himmler had told me, his favorite hobby [aside from giving out leaflets] was gardening. The authorities didn't seem to care about his garden at all, and I never saw him again), and illegal aliens took over the management of the place.

I lost my job and was replaced by Tony (who had to breathe through a special tube of some sort), who was an illegal alien. But it could have been worse. I was one of three regular white guys that the new management kept, and my new boss, Mr. Schlomo Ortega (who is multi-lingual!), is currently grooming me for a special new position. I am scared, but I am very excited at the same time.

My wife and our little boy might be moving out of our double-wide trailer into a nice saltbox house someday! Who knows? Before my daddy passed on, he said, "Son, in the U S of A, nothing is impossible if you're prepared to work real hard, and don't get asbestosis or black lung, like I done." He was right!


































I still believe the future is bright (except for Mr. Himmler and the other white guys who were fired, although they didn't show up for their jobs most of the time, and were very sloppy anyways), and If I can show these fellas just how good I am, they might even get involved in one of their very, very secret science projects. Wow.

In the meantime, I have some more pictures for everyone to see. I am starting a scrapbook, and my wife likes the smell of the rubber cement that I use to mount the photos on the pages. Sweet.






































My son is really having some fun! My family doesn't
eat seafood anymore, though. We've always preferred
Spam, except when we were dating, when we used to
spend time with our friends at Frankie's Bucket O' Steamers
by the pier.

I once lost a tooth while we were eating there,
but my wife saved it, and wears it on a necklace for
good luck.
















---------------
NOTE: The article above should not be construed as medical or health advice. In fact, the article above should not be construed at all. --DC

Douglas Castle - THE DAILY BURST OF BRILLIANCE .001 http://aboutdouglascastle.blogspot.com/


Tags, Labels and Terms For This Article: illegal aliens, rising unemployment, menial labor, legalized slavery, stolen jobs, jobs which nobody wants, slave labor, undocumented aliens, who's your nanny, who's working in your kitchen, many landscapers are aliens, ET, extraterrestrails, reptilian underground conspiracy, The Global Futurist, The Internationalist Page, Goodbye to Ellis Island, Chico and The Man, changing demographics in the USA, TNNWC Group, alien abductions, alien visitations, aliens in our government, alien invasion, aliens in the White House, UFOs, business services, humor, humour, articles by Douglas E. Castle, satire, buffoonery, Braintenance, Lingovations, douglascastleblogosphere, comedy in marketing, Mad Marketing Tactics, cultural diversity, teamwork, work ethic, economic misperceptions, Daily Burst Of Brilliance .001 and .002, communications, goodle images, attackers from space, alignment with Uranus, Ufology, entertainment, Left Right and Center, The National Newspicker, Emerging Enterprise Report, The Growth Masters


Other Websites Which You Must See:

1)  Become a Member of TNNWC Group (at no cost to join), and start receiving benefits today! Go to http://www.tnnwc.com/ or http://bit.ly/JoinYNNWC

2)  You must visit the TNNWC GIST VIDEO site. See how your business concept or proposition can be distilled into a 2-minute narrated napkin drawing presentation. Go to http://bit.ly/LethalNapkin and be amazed. Really. Condensation In Communication!


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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Cubit Conundrum - Cubit's Rube*

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BRAINTENANCE™














Cubit Conundrum – Cubit’s Rube*
---------------
*Notes:


• “Cubit’s Rube” is a sloppy spoonerism for “Rubic’s Cube.”


• Years ago, when I had a legitimate job in the fascinating field of accounting – fiscal voyeurism – my boss said to me (in anticipation of a confrontation with a dissatisfied client who had just learned that he owed the Internal Revenue Service a large sum of money, “Geez, Doug. The ‘fit is going to hit the shan!” If you cannot figure that one out, you must turn off your computer, go to the supermarket, and purchase a copy of The National Enquirer and some bon-bons immediately. You are exempt from reading any further. Congratulations.




• A friend once asked me (in an attempt to be witty and engaging, despite his chronic halitosis and repellent reptilian skin condition), “Hey, Dougie! What’s the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?” When I failed to answer, he said, grinning, “A rooster clucks defiance.” On reflection, I realized that while this sophisticated spoonerism was indeed cute (albeit obscene), it was, when translated, undeniably true. But I digress….




Question: What is the height, in cubits, of a man who is exactly six feet tall?

Answer:
You’ll have to be patient…

First, a few clues about the unit of measure (very popular in ark-building) known as the CUBIT excerpted from the all-knowing Wikipedia:

“A cubit is the first recorded unit of length and was one of many different standards of measurement used through history. It was originally based on measuring by comparing to one's forearm length.

Cubits were employed through Antiquity, the Middle Ages up to the Early Modern Times, especially for measuring cords and textiles, but also for timbers, stone and volumes of grain.

The Egyptian hieroglyph for the unit shows the symbol of a forearm, but it was rather longer than any actual forearms. The Egyptian cubit was not subdivided into centimetres or inches, but into palms and digits. The Egyptian cubit was subdivided into 7 'palms' of 4 'digits', making 28 parts in all, and was between 52.3 and 52.4cm in length[1].”

But this is all just speculation and estimation…we need something more definitive. So, let’s settle on this average:

1 cubit = 45.72 centimeters, according to Douglas Castle of Braintenance


And let’s settle on this Metric to British conversion factor so that we can convert feet to centimeters, and then, finally to cubits:


1 centimeter = 0.032808399 feet, according to Douglas Castle of Braintenance


Computation: If a man is six feet tall, this means that he is 6 feet tall divided by 0.032808399 feet/centimeter, or approximately 183 centimeters tall.

Then, if we take his height (in centimeters) of 183, and divide it by 45.72 centimeters/cubit, we find that our six foot tall man is also approximately four cubits in height.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle, Ark Angel (ahem)
http://braintenance.blogspot.com/
http://www.douglascastleblogosphere.com/





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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

BRAINTENANCE: Paradoxes of Faith

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BRAINTENANCE™

Expand Your Mind: Paradoxes of Faith

There are some wonderful logical and paradoxical questions and sayings that have emerged through Humankind’s quest for a definitive answer to the troublesome problem of proof about the existence of God. Each of them gives one some pause for thought, and all of them are mind strengtheners. Here they come:

1. “My belief in God is based on faith. With absolute faith, a person can know, with complete certainty, that which cannot be proven. Faith is a God-given blessing.”

2. “If God created the universe, and if every effect is preceded by some cause, who or what created God?”

3. In one of my most doubtful moments, following a great tragedy in my life, I told my college roommate that I had lost my belief in God. My roommate replied, putting his hand gently on my shoulder, said, quietly, “Just because you don’t believe in God doesn’t mean that he doesn’t believe in you, and care about you and love you.” I remember these words being a great source of comfort at that time.

4. An old quote from an episode of the breakthrough television sitcom “All In The Family,” uttered by Archie’s self-righteous son-in-law, Michael: “Arch, when I think of all the things that have been done in the name of religion, it makes me thank God that I’m an atheist!” Hysterical, hmmm?

5. If you look up at the sky with clenched fists and yell (either out loud, or in your mind’s voice), “If you exist, God, how could you have let this [tragedy] happen? I don’t believe in you!” – It means that you are, in fact, a believer, but with some serious questions about His reasons and actions. The premise of a dialogue (as opposed to a monologue or a soliloquy), is that a second party is listening – but that second party may or may not respond. The difference between a dialogue and a monologue is that in a dialogue, the second party is not only listening, but that the presumed listening party may in fact, respond.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

http://braintenance.blogspot.com/
http://www.douglascastleblogosphere.com/


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Friday, January 7, 2011

FACT: You've either gotten your audience's "buy-in" within 2 - 5 minutes, or you've lost them. http://bit.ly/GetTheirAttention

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This deceptively relevent piece of brain matter brought to you by GIST VIDEO, BRAINTENANCE and TNNWC GROUP.

FACT: You've either gotten your audience's "buy-in" within the first two to five minutes, or you've lost them. GIST: http://bit.ly/GetTheirAttention 



Remember: Before you can educate, you must:
1. Get their attention.
2. Focus them.
3. Keep the energy level high.

If you overspeak, your impact and impression WILL decline. You'll lose the edge you've gained. As my uncle Gene (who worked in the circus) used to say: "Kid! You gotsa always leave 'em hungry for more. If you give 'em a big feast, they'll fall asleep on ya." Uncle Gene was also a major proponent of "Electroschock Therapy," and used to go for ECT appointments faithfully on a daily basis. He was the first member of our family to pioneer a 70's "Afro" hairstyle.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle



MAD MARKETING TACTICS™ !
Get MAD... Get CRAZY... Get MOVING... Get ATTENTION!
Visit us at http://MadMarketingTactics.blogspot.com

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TNNWC Group, LLC, in Brief

TNNWC Group, LLC empowers emerging enterprises locally, worldwide and inter-globally by providing 1) informational publications and products; 2) an indispensible suite of crucial, unparalleled services for business planning, development, growth, marketing and capitalization, which are offered to all of our Members who are all 3) interactively involved within a growing, mutually-supportive collaborative, cooperative community of individuals and businesses. We are run by entrepreneurial people, and we live to serve entrepreneurial people and the business initiated through their inspiration… from the garage-based technological start-up, to the “small business” wanting to break free of its limitations and grow larger at an accelerated but sustainable pace. We Empower Emerging Enterprises™ - not with “happy talk” and “grandiose ideas”… but with real tools and expert interpersonal guidance to use each of them for their optimal effectiveness. Visit us at TNNWC Group, LLC. - Join us. We have so much to offer you. Our philosophy is simple: UNITE AND CONQUER.


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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Predict Your Financial Success Using Your IQ and Your FICO Score! - BRAINTENANCE

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GIST VIDEO is favoured by Royalty the World Over -- because important, spoiled, selfish, priapic narcissicists simply don't have the time for a long, drawn out explanation. Don't keep their concubines waiting in the stables. Give them LIBERTY and give them GIST.




Predict Your FINANCIAL SUCCESS Using Your IQ and Your FICO Score! - BRAINTENANCE.


There is much talk nowadays about maintaining your "creditworthiness" and your "solvency." Understandably, almost none of the information which you are hearing is actually valid -- and if some part of it is valid, it will change within hours so as to be inapplicable.

The FICO credit score is based upon a "lose-lose" mystery algorithm where no matter what you do (apply for credit cards, pay on time, don't use credit, always use credit, have had no bankruptcies but have gotten a parking ticket, own a home, are a squatter in a crackhouse, cancel a loan, pay off a loan, etc.) it will all have (for whatever reason) a negative impact on your FICO consumer credit score. On a scale of 0 to 800 (the highest), most people score between 470 and 670, neither of which are even good. If you spend money contesting derrogatory comments on your credit report, or if you dispute and take issue with fraudulently or wrongly assesed amounts, I would bet that that process would lower your score as well. FICO, SCHMICO.

Your conventionally-determined (the MENSA MANIACS go to all of these conventions where these things are determined) Intelligence Quotient ("IQ") score merely measures how well you will perform in an academic environment when confronted with academic problems. While it is possitively correlated with intelligence, it is no measure of total, useful, functional intelligence. Yet, people like to rate your life's potential by it. An IQ of 100, for example makes you average; an IQ of 125 or more makes you "superior"; an IQ of 149 or greater makes you a "genius," even if you trip over your own untied shoelaces and forget to brush your teeth for fully two weeks before a job interview. You see, IQ is not a measurement of practical, emotional or genuinely adaptive intelligence -- a high IQ might be great if you're rotating blocks in certain sequences, or memorizing the first batch 30 numbers in the Fibonacci Series -- but it doesn't predict your ability to write a moving poem, design a beautiful building, or choose friends who won't steal your belongings one night and then gut you like a fish. MENSA, SCHMENZA.

I heard a rather whiney, horse-faced woman on a cable news program taking about the increasing problem of declining consumer credit eligibility in the United States.  Later, on my way home from the gym, I heard (on my quadrophonic Bose Sensoround authomotive speaker system) some gruff, military-sounding guy (an educator, they said) discussing that US children are doing progressively worse on IQ-type exams as compared to their counterparts and peers overseas...presumably where education is considered to be of importance, as opposed to in the US where the more money you have the smarter you must be. That last comment was a fine illustration of both faulty logic and a pitiful value system; our domestic economy was wrought of this brilliant type of thinking.

In a burst of brilliance, and realizing that two completely innaccurate, inapplicable or plain irrelevant premises (FICO and IQ) should somehow be combined to make one perfect theory [this like saying "two wrongs will always neutralize each other and make things right."], I have come up with a statistic to predict the probability of your personal financial solvency, and it may actually be as accurate as a broken watch, i.e., twice a day:

Here it is:

The likelihood of your being financially successful over the next year is equal to your FICO score divided by your IQ, with the result divided by 4 and then subsequently divided into 1.00. That's right. 


For example, if your FICO score is 800 and your IQ is 200 (which divides out nicely into 4), your probability of being financially successful would be 4 divided by 4, or 1.00, which divid into 1.00 equals 1.00 or 100%. Clap yourself on the back. Jolly good! Lucky you. Can you spare a dime?

On the other hand, if your FICO score were 700 and your IQ were 20 (making you about as bright as a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup), your probability of being financially successful would be 700/20, or 35, divided by 4 (which would equal 8.75). Divide 8.75 into 1.00, which would equal 0.11, or a probability of about 11%. Terribly sorry. Bad joss. Lose my telephone number.

What's that? You can see cases where this "statistic" wouldn't make any sense at all?

Then you've gotten my point.

Conclusion 1: Disregard anyone's statistical assessment of you and do the very best you can to be successful and happy.

Conclusion 2: There is no one statistic, or even a combination of statistics that is fully predictive 100% of the time. And that, by the way is not sarcastic -- it is the truth. Every statistic has its exceptions and predictive blind spots.

Conclusion 3: Conclusions 1 and 2, above, are not in their proper order. A quick workaround? Read Conclusion 2 first and Conclusion 1 secondly.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle
http://braintenance.blogspot.com/
http://www.douglascastleblogosphere.com/


p.s. You may laugh, but there are many people who will start using the ridiculous formula above to predict the likelihood of someone's financial success. We Humans love to be able to simplify and gneralize about that which we don't truly understand. Every one of us is an individual, and each of us is a Wild Card.
---------------

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---------------

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---------------
Thank you for visiting, and for investing some time with me. Should you want to contact me, please telephone toll-free at 888.317.6498, or send me a direct email at douglas.castle@yahoo.com. I work with emerging enterprises internationally on matters of strategic planning, organizational development and financing, both in the For-Profit Sector and in the Not-For-Profit Sector – Douglas Castle

TNNWC Group, LLC, in Brief

TNNWC Group, LLC empowers emerging enterprises locally, worldwide and inter-globally by providing 1) informational publications and products; 2) an indispensible suite of crucial, unparalleled services for business planning, development, growth, marketing and capitalization, which are offered to all of our Members who are all 3) interactively involved within a growing, mutually-supportive collaborative, cooperative community of individuals and businesses. We are run by entrepreneurial people, and we live to serve entrepreneurial people and the business initiated through their inspiration… from the garage-based technological start-up, to the “small business” wanting to break free of its limitations and grow larger at an accelerated but sustainable pace. We Empower Emerging Enterprises™ - not with “happy talk” and “grandiose ideas”… but with real tools and expert interpersonal guidance to use each of them for their optimal effectiveness. Visit us at TNNWC Group, LLC. - Join us. We have so much to offer you. Our philosophy is simple: UNITE AND CONQUER.


Membership is FREE!The NATIONAL NETWORKER™The NATIONAL NEWSPICKER™LEFT, RIGHT and CENTER™Financing, Credit and Risk ManagementEmerging Enterprises Venture Capital Program™Merchant Payment Processing SolutionsNews Releases, Publicity and Public RelationsBUZZWORKS™ - Branding and Social Media DominationMarket Research, Surveys and PollsAssessment ToolsBLOGWORKS™ - Expand Your Search Engine Presence, Positioning and CredibilityAdvertise with Us!Selected Service ProvidersInternational Connections Service - Go GlobalIntelligence and Information OperationsInstant Mobile Communications, Applications and Training
Visit Our WEBSITE for more!http://www.TheNationalNetworker.com
Capital, Traffic Building, International Customers and unique SERVICES.
The National Networker Publications™ produced by TNNWC Group, LLC
Resources for Business Planning, Development, Capital and Growth

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