Friday, February 13, 2009


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Dear Friends:

Firstly, for you music fans, a terrific pun was sent to me by one of my college roommates, Gary L. Alexander. Here it is:

E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat.

F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second."

Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years .

Here's a brief (and timely) quiz for today:

Situation: A young man (who takes "enhancement" supplements, and believes in portfolio diversification theory) has purchased five valentines cards, each with an envelope, to send out to his five current girlfriends. He writes a personal note on each of the cards (writing each of the young lovelies by name, and saying that she is 'the only one for me'), and addresses the envelopes. He is distracted by a knock on the door (probably his landlady, whom he pays in services in lieu of currency), and he sweeps the letters and the envelopes to the floor.

After rendering the services to the landlady, he is dazed and confused. He rapidly stuffs cards into the envelopes, without be too careful. Two cards wound up in the wrong envelopes -- each of these receipients will get the card intended for another. He stamps them and posts them

Questions: Without rendering a moral judgment regarding the potentially lethal mistake that he has made, what is the probability that any one of the young ladies in his stable will receive the wrong card? What is the probability that any one of the young ladies will recieve the right card (phew)?
Have a wonderful Valentine's Day!


Douglas Castle

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