Saturday, July 28, 2012

Key Words + Search Terms = Dumbing Us Down.

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In the interest of Search Engine Optimization and attracting more "Mainstream Readers" from a growing population of abbreviators, texters, phonic spellers, urbanizers, ("Yo! U 'Aight?") hashtag huggers, semi-literate souls, libertine Lingovators, and other denizens of the world's 'audience', bloggers and other writers have had to increasingly limit their formerly extensive vocabularies to reach a steadily declining "lowest common denominator" of practical literacy.

Simplified, this means that if I want to get more hits (and more unique visitors) on my website or blog, I must state my message in terms that are getting simpler and simpler. I must lower my vocabulary skills and writing style to conform to that of the general public.

For example, if I've interviewed a person and want to mention something that he had said, I would not write "The Senator indicated..." I would write "He admitted..." --- not only have I participated in Operation Dumb Down, but I have deliberately added a sensationalizing twist to my word choice. Instead of reporting, I am inferring, accusing, or revealing fresh, secret information. After all, as one in a gazillion authors [gazillion? That's from Forrest Gump], I must be extra persuasive, extra seductive and simple enough in my message that people conducting searches with the simplest terms will be able to find my article.

It hurts not to use words like "atavistic" and "peccadillo," but then I must further my ranking and readership by littering my articles with anchor text and key terms that absolutely interfere with my writing style.

Where we are: We can no longer write as well as we speak.

Where we are headed: The next generation will not be able to speak (to articulate, to express, to verbally emote, to persuade, to argue, to use metaphors) as well as we speak now. There will be no one to teach them.

What to do about this: If you are a Braintenance Bulwark, and a faithful, fanatical follower of the occasionally alliterative Braintenance Blog you must:

1) Upgrade the caliber and character of your speech (you'll help keep the language alive and sound smarter than the petty politics player in the office next to yours who is hoping to get the promotion that you want by sucking up without substance). Experiment with new words culled from the dictionary and thesaurus online;

2) When you write for the public, pull them in with a nice paragraph laden with moronic search terms, anchor text clusters, and pop culture references, and then, when they are on your site, continue the article in your "real" style -- force some substance and allegory and other sophisticated crap down their throats so at least a small percentage of them will try to ascertain the nature of the comparison;

3) Read more about everything. Expand your envelope of relevance and familiarity with the terminology [specialized nomenclature] of other fields, hobbies and professions. Become more eclectic in your vocabulary and your ability to freely associate will increase.

Thank you, one and all. And. by the way, please take a look at The Twitterlinks Hubspot Blog to review at our giant repository [as opposed to our 'suppository,' which is stored elsewhere] of Twitter feeds on a wide variety of fascinating subjects. Please follow any that you'd like.

Douglas E. Castle

(Da dude what am da Prez dis page, keepin' it gangsta 4 U!)

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