Every word has numerous meanings and may be used in numerous contexts. Knowing this, we create puns, spoonerisms, oxymorons, paraprosdokians, paradoxes, riddles and other recreational wordplay.
One of the greatest benefits of this wordplay is the accessing and exercising of multiple parts of the brain. This serves to strengthen our creative and associative abilities, to ward off senile dementia and intellectual degradation and to sharpen our analytic and verbal skills.
As a side benefit, my beloved Braintenancers, we also entertain ourselves and eachother.
Here are some twisted definitions which will be of interest to all, and in particular, to those of us privileged to be Baby Boomers. Thanks to Ms. Jane Portnoy for her contribution to this article.
Let's let 'em roll...
ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR (if you remember this terminology, you’re showing your age):
A place where women curl up and dye.
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
A grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR (if you remember this terminology, you’re showing your age):
A place where women curl up and dye.
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
A grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES:
Something other people have,
Similar to my character lines.
Something other people have,
Similar to my character lines.
I hope you've enjoyed this journey into the the world of smart-aleckisms. Next time (sigh) we'll be dealing with a mathematical challenge.
Douglas E Castle [http://aboutDouglasCastle.blogspot.com]
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