Wednesday, November 24, 2010

MORONYMS - A New Lingovation - Douglas Castle

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MORONYMS - A New Lingovation - Douglas Castle

A Pre-Thanksgiving post originally published simultaneously (well, almost) on the BRAINTENANCE BLOG and on The TNNWC RSS Feed and Daily Email Supplement Blog.

Dear Cranial Crunchers:

If you've never heard the term "Lingovation," (because you have been held captive in an underground interrogation facility in Samoa, for example), you may want to Google the term. If you are involved in a dispute with Google, and don't want to give them your business (as if they'd really miss you), a handy definition follows below:

"As you may or may not know, a Lingovation is a newly-created, freshly-coined word, often comprised of a hybrid or contraction of several existing words, which comes into being when no other single existing word or word combination (and sometimes not even an entire paragraph!) can precisely express the thought. They are not nonsensical terms, and must indeed be taken very seriously." - Douglas Castle

Lingovations are regularly featured in TNNWC Group's The BLUE TUESDAY Report. At the time of this writing, the latest featured Lingovation in the Report can be found by going to Technullity.  If you wish to see "Technullity" in all of its splendor you can visit it by clicking on either Google Technullity or Yahoo Technullity. Note:Subscribe to The BLUE MONDAY Report (it's free) and get fresh and hysterical Lingovations weekly -- .

Today, a Lingovation has been born of necessity (and due to my need to take a rest from getting prepared (i.e., picking out a suit of armor and a musket) for the Thanksgiving holiday.

You have heard of antonyms, homonyms and synonyms -- we've spoken of them before. I propose something far more special...MORONYMS. The term is a combination of the root words Moron and "-nyms," the latter being a suffix meaning "words" or "names". MORONYM (singular) and MORONYMS (plural) are the utterings of the ill-informed or verbally accident-prone. The accent is on the first syllable - mor' .

Within this class are some malaprops, spoonerisms (it's enough to give you fart hailure!), words with extra syllables in the middle (preventatative medicine, and becoming "orientated" to the new surroundings), horrific mispronounciations and other ridiculous things which people say by accident or because they have done more reading than listening. Here are some more examples:

"I have to have this witnessed before a Notary Republic."

"She lives in a very lucrative neighboorhood."

"I love the way you talk. You are so verbose!"

"Nuclear" pronounced as "New-cu-lar."

" I seen him millions of times." (a bit of hyperbole thrown in, too)

"Sorry. My Bad." (an ebonically-derived expressed adopted by "The Man"). Try saying this in a corporate board meeting.

"If you try it, well then it's ON YOU!" Note: This is only appropriate when discussing things like super-carbonated beverages, moving vats of liquids, and the like...and even then, its grammatically incorrect.

"Your car engine is caddywumpussed up. I'll take two days to repair it."

"What in tarnation do you think that you're doing?"

"We now have twelve board of directors!" (translated: "We now have twelve Directors on our Board").

See you all soon (a virtual possibility).

In the meantime, enjoy the Holiday. As I've said before (at the commencement address of my graduating class at Hummus State College Of Fraternal Medicine)..."Gentlemen. Ladies. At Thanksgiving time, always remember who's stuffing whom." - Amen


Douglas Castle

p.s. Grab My Widgets at . Please be gentle.

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