Fun With Brain-Twisting Homonyms and Wacky Irony - Douglas Castle
NOTE: This article was originally published to the BRAINTENANCE Blog (http://Braintenance.blogspot.com)
Dear Fellow Brain-Builders:
The following is brought to you by Dictionary.com:
Homonym, homophone, and homograph designate words that are identical to other words in spelling or pronunciation, or both, while differing from them in meaning and usually in origin. Homophones are words that sound alike, whether or not they are spelled differently. The words pear “fruit,” pare “cut off,” and pair “two of a kind” are homophones that are different in spelling; bear “carry; support” and bear “animal” are homophones that are spelled alike. Homographs are words that are spelled identically but may or may not share a pronunciation. Spruce “tree” and spruce “neat” are homographs, but so are row [roh] 
Show IPA “line” and row [rou] “fight” as well as sewer [soo-er] “conduit for waste” and sewer [soh-er] “person who sews.” Homonyms are, in the strictest sense, both homophones and homographs, alike in spelling and pronunciation, as the two forms bear. Homonym, however, is used more frequently than homophone, a technical term, when referring to words with the same pronunciation without regard to spelling. Homonym is also used as a synonym of homograph. Thus, it has taken on a broader scope than either of the other two terms and is often the term of choice in a nontechnical context.
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Show IPA “line” and row [rou] “fight” as well as sewer [soo-er] “conduit for waste” and sewer [soh-er] “person who sews.” Homonyms are, in the strictest sense, both homophones and homographs, alike in spelling and pronunciation, as the two forms bear. Homonym, however, is used more frequently than homophone, a technical term, when referring to words with the same pronunciation without regard to spelling. Homonym is also used as a synonym of homograph. Thus, it has taken on a broader scope than either of the other two terms and is often the term of choice in a nontechnical context. 
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The wonderful wordplays which follow are quite humorous and were forwarded to me by Dr. Daniel J. Benor. They utilize homonyms, irony, innuendo and double entendres (that's French!) in order to make us 1) think and 2) laugh. Incidentally, the four referenced techniques and devices are referred to (you heard it here first!) as TWISTICISMS, a Lingovation created by yours truly. Please take a moment and Google the term "twisticisms".
Now enjoy the twisticized wordplays which Dr. Benor was kind enough to forward to me:
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:" Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
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In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
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On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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Sign on another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
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At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit, please back in. "
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On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
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On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
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On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
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At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
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On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
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In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
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On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
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At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
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On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
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At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
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Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
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At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
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In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
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In the front yard of aFuneral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
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At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills.."
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And don't forget the sign at a
CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
Forwarded by
Daniel J. Benor, MD, ABHM
DB@WholisticHealingResearch.com
For more web items of humor, beauty and wondermentSee: Monthly E-Zines and frequent Newsletters of the IJHC and the WHR sites
http://wholistichealingresearch.com/CurrentIssue.html
International Journal of Healing and Caring - On linewww.ijhc.org
Wholistic healing awareness and resourceshttp://www.WholisticHealingResearch.com
Monthly E-Zine of the IJHC and the WHR sites http://wholistichealingresearch.com/CurrentIssue.html
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Faithfully,
Douglas Castle
Douglas Castle
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