Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Fun With Brain-Twisting Homonyms and Wacky Irony - Douglas Castle

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Fun With Brain-Twisting Homonyms and Wacky Irony - Douglas Castle

NOTE: This article was originally published to the BRAINTENANCE Blog (http://Braintenance.blogspot.com)

Dear Fellow Brain-Builders:

The following is brought to you by Dictionary.com:
Homonym, homophone,  and homograph  designate words that are identical to other words in spelling or pronunciation, or both, while differing from them in meaning and usually in origin. Homophones  are words that sound alike, whether or not they are spelled differently. The words pear  “fruit,” pare  “cut off,” and pair  “two of a kind” are homophones  that are different in spelling; bear  “carry; support” and bear  “animal” are homophones  that are spelled alike. Homographs  are words that are spelled identically but may or may not share a pronunciation. Spruce  “tree” and spruce  “neat” are homographs,  but so are row /roʊ/ Show Spelled[roh] Show IPA “line” and row /raʊ/[rou] “fight” as well as sewer /ˈsuər/[soo-er] “conduit for waste” and sewer /ˈsoʊər/[soh-er] “person who sews.” Homonyms  are, in the strictest sense, both homophones  and homographs,  alike in spelling and  pronunciation, as the two forms bear. Homonym,  however, is used more frequently than homophone,  a technical term, when referring to words with the same pronunciation without regard to spelling. Homonym  is also used as a synonym of homograph.  Thus, it has taken on a broader scope than either of the other two terms and is often the term of choice in a nontechnical context.

The wonderful wordplays which follow are quite humorous and were forwarded to me by Dr. Daniel J. Benor. They utilize homonyms, irony, innuendo and double entendres (that's French!) in order to make us 1) think and 2) laugh. Incidentally, the four referenced techniques and devices are referred to (you heard it here first!) as TWISTICISMS, a Lingovation created by yours truly. Please take a moment and Google the term "twisticisms".

Now enjoy the twisticized wordplays which Dr. Benor was kind enough to forward to me:

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:" Dr. Jones, at your cervix."


 In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."


 On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels


Sign on another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"


At a Proctologist's door:

"To expedite your visit, please back in. "


On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."


On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."


On a Church's Bill board:

"7 days without God makes one weak."


At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

"Invite us to your next blowout."


At a Towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."


On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts."

| ******** ******************

In a Nonsmoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."


On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."


At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."


On a Taxidermist's window:

"We really know our stuff."


On a Fence:

"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"


At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."


Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."


In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"


At the Electric Company

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be."


In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."


In the front yard of aFuneral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait."


At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank heaven for little grills.."


And don't forget the sign at a


"Best place in town to take a leak."

Forwarded by
Daniel J. Benor, MD, ABHM
For more web items of humor, beauty and wondermentSee: Monthly E-Zines and frequent Newsletters of the IJHC and the WHR sites

International Journal of Healing and Caring - On linewww.ijhc.org

Wholistic healing awareness and resourceshttp://www.WholisticHealingResearch.com

Monthly E-Zine of the IJHC and the WHR sites http://wholistichealingresearch.com/CurrentIssue.html



Douglas Castle

Douglas Castle
Join my TNNWC Group, LLC collaborative business community (GICBC) at no cost by clicking on http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC.

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