Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Fun With Brain-Twisting Homonyms and Wacky Irony - Douglas Castle

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Fun With Brain-Twisting Homonyms and Wacky Irony - Douglas Castle

NOTE: This article was originally published to the BRAINTENANCE Blog (http://Braintenance.blogspot.com)

Dear Fellow Brain-Builders:

The following is brought to you by Dictionary.com:
Homonym, homophone,  and homograph  designate words that are identical to other words in spelling or pronunciation, or both, while differing from them in meaning and usually in origin. Homophones  are words that sound alike, whether or not they are spelled differently. The words pear  “fruit,” pare  “cut off,” and pair  “two of a kind” are homophones  that are different in spelling; bear  “carry; support” and bear  “animal” are homophones  that are spelled alike. Homographs  are words that are spelled identically but may or may not share a pronunciation. Spruce  “tree” and spruce  “neat” are homographs,  but so are row /roʊ/ Show Spelled[roh] Show IPA “line” and row /raʊ/[rou] “fight” as well as sewer /ˈsuər/[soo-er] “conduit for waste” and sewer /ˈsoʊər/[soh-er] “person who sews.” Homonyms  are, in the strictest sense, both homophones  and homographs,  alike in spelling and  pronunciation, as the two forms bear. Homonym,  however, is used more frequently than homophone,  a technical term, when referring to words with the same pronunciation without regard to spelling. Homonym  is also used as a synonym of homograph.  Thus, it has taken on a broader scope than either of the other two terms and is often the term of choice in a nontechnical context.
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The wonderful wordplays which follow are quite humorous and were forwarded to me by Dr. Daniel J. Benor. They utilize homonyms, irony, innuendo and double entendres (that's French!) in order to make us 1) think and 2) laugh. Incidentally, the four referenced techniques and devices are referred to (you heard it here first!) as TWISTICISMS, a Lingovation created by yours truly. Please take a moment and Google the term "twisticisms".

Now enjoy the twisticized wordplays which Dr. Benor was kind enough to forward to me:


Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:" Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

**************************

 In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."

**************************

 On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

------------------

Sign on another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

 **************************

At a Proctologist's door:

"To expedite your visit, please back in. "

**************************

On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."

**************************

On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

**************************

On a Church's Bill board:

"7 days without God makes one weak."

**************************

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

"Invite us to your next blowout."

**************************

At a Towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

**************************

On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts."

| ******** ******************

In a Nonsmoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

**************************

On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."

**************************

At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:

"We really know our stuff."

**************************

On a Fence:

"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

**************************

At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

**************************

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

**************************

At the Electric Company

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be."

**************************

In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

**************************

In the front yard of aFuneral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

**************************

At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank heaven for little grills.."

**************************

And don't forget the sign at a

CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

"Best place in town to take a leak."

Forwarded by
Daniel J. Benor, MD, ABHM
DB@WholisticHealingResearch.com 
For more web items of humor, beauty and wondermentSee: Monthly E-Zines and frequent Newsletters of the IJHC and the WHR sites
http://wholistichealingresearch.com/CurrentIssue.html

International Journal of Healing and Caring - On linewww.ijhc.org

Wholistic healing awareness and resourceshttp://www.WholisticHealingResearch.com

Monthly E-Zine of the IJHC and the WHR sites http://wholistichealingresearch.com/CurrentIssue.html

---------------


Faithfully,

Douglas Castle


Douglas Castle
Join my TNNWC Group, LLC collaborative business community (GICBC) at no cost by clicking on http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC.

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Misguided Notion of "TRENDING NOW" - Douglas Castle

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The Misguided Notion of "TRENDING NOW" - Douglas Castle

Dear Fellow Futurists and Friends:

The latest fad to stick itself between the eyes of every informationally overburdened and sensorially bombarded "gotta know everything now...gotta be up-to-the-minute...news monkey and aspiring corporate climber (despite the notable absence of ladders, steps, and destinations) is the "Trending Now" dynamic ticker that you can see on the homepages or opening pages of all of the major computer hosting and service providers (Google, Yahoo!, Bing, AOL, MSN and a growing number of others).

This feature, which is really a dynamically updated ranking of the top 10, 20 or 30 topics which are most frequently searched by the public at any given moment, is supposed to be extremely meaningful. If they were financial data, they might be useful, but all we can glean from these ticker displays are the fads of the moment. Ironically, they are not even trends -- they are ranked search frequencies as of the moment of measurement. The fact that so many of them change so rapidly attests to their volatility (perhaps a function of some combination of intensity of news story saturation and the fickle and limited nature of many people's attention spans.

Now if you were to isolate a particular search topic and follow its relative positioning daily over a length of time; or, if you were to codo the same thing with two different brands, or ideologies or atmospheric gases...well then, you would be citing a trend. A trend is a measurement of change or tendency in a particular variable over a period of time. The difference between a "Trending Now" display and a "Trend" per se is analogous to the difference between a point and a line.  A point can (possibly) be observed, but its direction is unknown. It takes several points to plot a trend line, or to plot two or more competitive trend lines in a comparative or correlative analysis of  brands or  products. And these points are gathered over time.

If you'd like to see a trend instead of a daily ranking (this is safe experiement which you can do at home without setting the house on fire or putting your kid brother's eye out), just use the same "Trending Now" report, choose a "hot" topic (i.e., Lady Gaga) and examine it daily to see which position it occupies daily. Plot a chart based upon rank. Then, as ranking rises or falls, you can site a trend, or direction. You may even plot a graph with percentage changes and other exciting (stifled yawn) metrics! See how easy this Futurism thing can be?

In Futurism, we do not seek to just 'get the point' -- we seek to find the best-fitting line, and extend it using a combination of skills.

NOTE: By the way, you'll likely notice that the fastest risers tend to plummet the most precipitously, while the slower climbers have a tendency to occupy a higher ranking position (on average) for longer.

Let's just remember that a momentary ranking is not indicative of a trend.

Class dismissed!

Faithfully, and wishing you a wonderfully vertical success path, I am,

Douglas Castle


Douglas Castle
Join my TNNWC Group, LLC collaborative business community (GICBC) at no cost by clicking on http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Shades Of Meaning - Perception and Reception

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SHADES OF MEANING

Dear Friends:

How you translate your thoughts into words can be the difference between making a point or losing a point; forming an alliance or starting a feud; between having followers follow you with lighted touches to storm the palance, or having them tie you up and place you one the pyre. Words can free us, or they can imprison us. Words can inspire or deflate. Choose your words carefully. Every word matters. Every word carries a measure of meaning. Shades of meaning are subtle differences which can dramatically change how you are perceived, or how your message is received.

What are the key differences between the following word pairs in terms of 1) how the speaker will be perceived, and 2) how his or her message will likely be interpreted:

  • Involved vs Committed;
  • Eager vs Anxious;
  • Desperate vs Determined;
  • Problem vs Challenge:
  • Hurdles vs Barriers;
  • I need you -vs- I want you;
  • "Think what you want" -vs- "I'm sorry that I haven't made myself clear to you."
  • Integrity vs Loyalty
  • Stupidity vs Ignorance of the Facts
Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

p.s. Remember "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me?" Bones heal fairly rapidly -- an angry insult born or disappointment said by a parent to a child can take the better part of a lifetime to heal.

Words heal. Words hurt. When somebody says, "Aw, those are just words," he or she is in either in a blissful state of ignorance in matters of psychology...or in a learned defensive state of denial.


Douglas Castle
Join my TNNWC Group, LLC collaborative business community (GICBC) at no cost by clicking on http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Rank The REAL Reasons Why New And Young Businesses FAIL.

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A Quick Survey For Entrepreneurs and Emerging Enterprises
TNNWC Group, LLC needs your input...the input of innovators, leaders, initiators and prominent, active members of the entrepreneurial and emerging enterprise social and business communitees!

July 13th, 2010: A Brand New Quick Survey, open to all...

TNNWC Quick Survey 7: Rank The Reasons Why New Or Young Businesses Fail.

Click to take this terrific, brief, but important survey:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/TNNWC7


***If you’d like, become a Member of TNNWC for free at http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC.

The National Networker Companies™
Empowering Emerging Enterprises”
Membership in TNNWC’s Global Interactive Cooperative Business Community is free of charge and entitles you to receive both The National Networker Newsletter and The BLUE TUESDAY Report, as well as access to our unparalleled Suite of Business Services.
Join Us! Simply click on http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC  
Visit our website at http://www.TheNationalNetworker.com
Douglas Castle
Join my TNNWC Group, LLC collaborative business community (GICBC) at no cost by clicking on http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Going Global - The Prune Brandy Solution

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Dear Friends:

Do you remember this question from several days ago? Your answers follow.

Dear Friends:

Let's go global. Here's a relatively simple question:

1. If a globe-shaped container has a capacity to hold 10 gallons of prune brandy, how many gallons of prune brandy would a similar globe-shaped container with a 50% larger diameter be able to hold? How about if the diameter were 100% larger (two times as large)?

2. What could the possible advantages of drinking prune brandy be? What might be a clever name for a prune brandy product be? "Loose Juice" has already been reserved. Sorry.

Faithfully,

DC
____________________
The Answer Man Cometh:

The formula for the volume of a globe or a sphere is 4/3Pi (r)^3. The radius (r) of a globe or sphere is one half of the diameter. If the diameter is doubled, the radius is automatically doubled. If the diameter is increased by 50%, the radius is increased by fifty%.  This increase in the radius is cubed (raised to the third power) in the volume formula.

For example, if the radius had been 8", it will now be 12".

In the formula, 4/3Pi(r)^3 = 10 gallons, we can solve for r^3:

r^3 = 3/4(Pi)(10)... can you take it from here? If not, we'll continue to the solution within the next two days. Please don't change the channel!

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle


Douglas Castle
Join my TNNWC Group, LLC collaborative business community (GICBC) at no cost by clicking on http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Increase Your Productivity - A Re-Print That Should Be Re-Read.

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INCREASE YOUR PRODUCTIVITY - A Re-Print That Should Be Re-Read.

Increase Your Productivity.
NOTE: This article was originally published in The National Networker Weekly Newsletter on Sunday, March 28, 2010. You may join TNNWC, get our free publications, access to our services and an opportunity to become a part of our GICBC (that's community!) by clicking on http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC .

Dear Friends, Colleagues and Worthy Adversaries:

I constantly strive to increase my productivity. For whatever reason (refer to the DSM IV), I am compelled to try to attain greater quality and quantity in my efforts at almost everything.. Many of us contend with this same frustration -- to try to accomplish more while using less. My engineering friend, Robert Fried, would term this "efficiency." A good psychotherapist might call it something else.

Many of us suffer from this same conundrum -- in fact, if you are reading this, I rest my case.

At first, I thought it might be a great deal of fun to just come of with a whole bunch of "mock" suggestions. These were such brilliant innovations as:

1. pretending to be incompetent or incapacitated so other people will either avoid you or help you; and,

2. lowering your standard for productivity (so as to increase your productivity in the same manner as that by which our government reduces the deficit, .i.e., semantically, by changing the method of calculation and disguising a lack of accomplishment) so that your current level of productivity is "better than average."

But I believe that it would better serve my readers (and the rest of Humankind) if I were to provide some serious methods for increasing your personal and managerial efficiency.

The methods set forth below are time-tested (not only by me, but by many others in search of  better ways through which to accomplish more), and are derived from a number of sources, none of whom I've properly referenced or given attribution -- that would require research and more writing.
---------------
Here is a list of suggested actions (or inactions) for increasing your productivity:

1. COMMUNICATE - When you ask questions, word them precisely; when you instruct others, be certain that your directives are absolutely clear, and that you truly have the other individual's attention; don't assume or surmise -- ask and investigate. A failure to simply stay in touch at regular intervals for brief moments as a matter of social routine can cause your stock to fall with those people most important to you. If others try to communicate with you and you are unresponsive, you will either be perceived as extremely busy or rude. A prompt, succinct statement in response to a question is what we come have come to expect (and to respect) in our leaders.

2. DELEGATE - To the greatest extent possible, assign as much of your responsibilities as possible to other persons who are competent, willing and trustworthy. Delegation of some tasks is difficult because of their personalized nature -- but other tasks merely cause you to lose additional time and opportunity.

3. AUTOMATE - If a task or a process lends itself to automation, then automate it to the greatest extent possible. Don't waste Human time and talent on something which can be accomplished by machine. Learn about technology and leverage it.

4. CONCENTRATE - Focus intently on the tasks which remain for you to perform. Efficient multitasking is generally a myth...usually the "multitasker" (he or she will be text-messaging right across from you at the table while you are talking) does a whole bunch of things very sloppily or poorly, and winds up having to "fix them" or to apologize. Inattention and divided focus are the enemies of achievement, Concentration works best for brief intervals, with breaks to relax and recharge your psychic batteries in-between. If you are stuck at a point in a process, or in reasoning through a problem, it could be because your mind is in need of a rest and is rebelling against you by playing a vindictive game of "hide and seek" with your recall and associative intelligence. As they say at the gym, catch you breath and loosen up between sets of exercise.

5. RECREATE - When you take a rest from intense focus, truly relax by entering into an activity or state that has nothing to do with the project on which you were working. Getting up, going out, walking, listening to music, playing with a Slinky, tai-chi, bending and stretching, meditating, or just having a brief, friendly conversational exchange with someone lets you relax while your subconscious and your instincts continue working on the problem without your forced conscious application of pressure. Interdisperse work and play (or rest) frequently.

On a final note, increased productivity produces envy (and a propensity on the part of some disgruntled underachivers to sabotage your efforts) amongst people who are personally insecure, but it potentiates increased productivity in the more ambitous and industrious people around you. Yes indeed; productivity is contagious. Lead by example.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

Douglas Castle
Join my TNNWC Group, LLC collaborative business community (GICBC) at no cost by clicking on http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC.







Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Braintenance: Going Global.

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Dear Friends:

Let's go global. Here's a relatively simple question:

1. If a globe-shaped container has a capacity to hold 10 gallons of prune brandy, how many gallons of prune brandy would a similar globe-shaped container with a 50% larger diameter be able to hold? How about if the diameter were 100% larger (two times as large)?

2. What could the possible advantages of drinking prune brandy be? What might be a clever name for a prune brandy product be? "Loose Juice" has already been reserved. Sorry.

Faithfully,

DC


Douglas Castle
Join my TNNWC Group, LLC collaborative business community (GICBC) at no cost by clicking on http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

An Interview With Anatoly Karpov, World Chess Master, from BIGTHINK.

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An Interview With Anatoly Karpov, World Chess Master, from BIGTHINK.
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Anatoly Yevgenyevich Karpov was the world chess champion for a decade, from 1975 to 1985. He won the title when Bobby Fischer, the American grandmaster and reigning world champion, failed to show up at the chessboard. Born in 1951 in Zlatoust, a Russian industrial city in the Urals, Karpov is widely considered to be one of the greatest players of all time. He finished first in more than 160 tournaments and occupied the Number 1 spot on the world chess rating list for 90 months, a record surpassed only be the man who dethroned him as world champion, Garry Kasparov. Today, two and half decades after his reign as world champion, Karpov is still an active and strong grandmaster (rated Number 155 in the world, as of June 2010). Karpov is running for president of FIDE, the world chess federation.

An videotaped interview follows. If the video player fails to make its appearance (which it usually does), simply click on this link to enjoy the interview with this legendary strategist and brilliant thinker:

http://bigthink.com/users/anatolykarpov?utm_source=Big+Think+Main+Subscribers&utm_campaign=7513758cb8-Newsletter_Life_in_2050_June_30_20106_30_2010&utm_medium=email#ooid=pndGVpMTrXpoea_xiHlIfs9oDzmpoNtU


---------------

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

Douglas Castle
Join my TNNWC Group, LLC collaborative business community (GICBC) at no cost by clicking on http://bit.ly/JoinTNNWC.

Blog Archive

SLIGHTLY MORE EXCITING INFORMATION ABOUT THE FOUNDER OF BRAINTENANCE (WHO SEEMS QUITE COCKY).

About the Author, Facilitator and Producer…

DOUGLAS CASTLE


Douglas Castle is a seasoned and highly-acclaimed advisor, director, executive officer, trustee and consultant to emerging entrepreneurial enterprises, growing companies, and cause-based humanitarian and educational organizations worldwide. His travels and assignments have encompassed a highly-diverse spectrum of industries, situations and highly sensitive negotiations. Mr.Castle is a noted speaker, commentator and a prolific author on a great many topics. ####


For further information regarding Mr. Castle’s professional background and achievements, as well as a brief list of some of his blogs, simply click on ABOUT DOUGLAS CASTLE .  



You may access Mr. Castle’s author profile on Google’s BLOGGER
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