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Sunday, March 27, 2011

Blogging 101 - Post, Or They'll Be Mad At You.

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I know, I know... this is really taking advantage of an innocent, loyal and patient Braintenance Readership. Call it hubris on my part, but I felt compelled (an angel visited me!) to share my brand new blog with you. This is its maiden voyage. Its [no apostrophe needed] first posting. Please try to find it in your hearts to forgive me, and indulge me in my brief moment of magical mania. Oh, for shame!

Thank you.

-DC

p.s. I cannot promise that I won't do this again.

From Blogging Tips, Tricks And Tools

Blogging 101 - Post, Or They'll Be Mad At You.

Dear Reader:

If you already a brilliant and successful blogger (whatever that actually means), you might just skip this article. If your are either a neophyte or a lover of learning, then please read on.

Welcome!

This is my first post on this new (just cut the ribbon!) blog, but we can celebrate later.

I'll offer you some very important advice:

If you don't post to your blog at least once per week...

1. You will not get a following, unless you are already famous;

2. Even if you have a following, they will think that you have either died, lost interest in your topic, or -- worst of all -- abandoned them! They will abandon your blog, as well.

Even if you don't have something absolutely Earth-shatteringly newsworthy to write about, show your readers that you have not abandoned them. Just a few words will sometimes suffice.

If you are not particularly creative, here are some helpful examples:

I've been remiss in my blogging - but I've just had surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome, and I will post a scan of a note from my orthopedic surgeon;

I have had a terrible bout with writer's block. I am hoping that the new medications that my doctor prescribed for this will take effect very soon;

I've finally gotten up the courage to leave my wife (husband, partner, significant other...) - as soon as I get settled in my new hovel, I will be writing again;

My roommate's pet anaconda ate my laptop, and we had to strain his (the anaconda's - not my roommate's) feces until it finally came out. I might have lost some files;

While I was flying over the Bermuda Triangle on the way to visit a friend in Guantanamo, my notebook suddenly vaporized. I swear to you. It did. My watch stopped, too;

I am an opportunist. I will not be posting to this blog, but my Blogger domain name is for sale. Would you like to buy the rights to this blog domain?

Why should I write? Nobody seems to be reading this anyway. If you want me to continue posting, get at least a hundred friends together and sign a petition promising that you'll all read my blog faithfully each week. Email it to me at the address below.