night shift at a swell take-out
burger joint. What did I know?
Illegal Aliens Stole My Job! - And They Said It Couldn't Happen Here!
I was very happy with my job working the night shift at a swell burger joint in a high-volume area of mottled ethnicity.
After working in the kitchen there for only six months, I had gotten a pay increase of several cents per hour, an additional bathroom break each shift and a promotion to being one of the "special marketing representatives" who get to talk into the microphone at the take out window. I had been practicing the phrase "would like any extra ketchup packs with that?" over and over again. My mom even paid for me to have my teeth whitened.
Well, I was fit to be tied when, one day, out of nowhere, there was a sudden change in management (my old boss, Mr. Himmler, with all of the tattoos was let go when he was caught at a meeting of the neo-something-or-other club with some of his colleagues plotting some type of funny prank at a nearby government building - the FBI and Secret Service didn't think that the joke was was very funny, so they took Mr. Himmler away - and worse! - they confiscated several truckloads of nitrate-rich fertilizer from his storehouse. From what Mr. Himmler had told me, his favorite hobby [aside from giving out leaflets] was gardening. The authorities didn't seem to care about his garden at all, and I never saw him again), and illegal aliens took over the management of the place.
I lost my job and was replaced by Tony (who had to breathe through a special tube of some sort), who was an illegal alien. But it could have been worse. I was one of three regular white guys that the new management kept, and my new boss, Mr. Schlomo Ortega (who is multi-lingual!), is currently grooming me for a special new position. I am scared, but I am very excited at the same time.
My wife and our little boy might be moving out of our double-wide trailer into a nice saltbox house someday! Who knows? Before my daddy passed on, he said, "Son, in the U S of A, nothing is impossible if you're prepared to work real hard, and don't get asbestosis or black lung, like I done." He was right!
I still believe the future is bright (except for Mr. Himmler and the other white guys who were fired, although they didn't show up for their jobs most of the time, and were very sloppy anyways), and If I can show these fellas just how good I am, they might even get involved in one of their very, very secret science projects. Wow.
In the meantime, I have some more pictures for everyone to see. I am starting a scrapbook, and my wife likes the smell of the rubber cement that I use to mount the photos on the pages. Sweet.
My son is really having some fun! My family doesn't
eat seafood anymore, though. We've always preferred
Spam, except when we were dating, when we used to
spend time with our friends at Frankie's Bucket O' Steamers
by the pier.
I once lost a tooth while we were eating there,
but my wife saved it, and wears it on a necklace for
NOTE: The article above should not be construed as medical or health advice. In fact, the article above should not be construed at all. --DC
Douglas Castle - THE DAILY BURST OF BRILLIANCE .001 http://aboutdouglascastle.blogspot.com/
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