Thursday, January 20, 2011

"People are almost never whom them present themselves to be. They tend to talk about either whom they would like to be, or whom they would not like to be." - Douglas Castle

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Dear Friends, Members, Colleagues, Readers, Leaders and Entrepreneurs:

"People are almost never whom them present themselves to be. They tend to talk about either whom they would like to be, or whom they would not like to be." - Douglas Castle 

People have an uncanny tendency to present themselves to us, and to others, by pointedly denying their weaknesses and overstating their strengths. They ar trying to paint a picture for us.

This is not generally deliberate, it is unconscious defensive behavior. Most people, with the exception of true sociopaths, do this innocently. They try to give us evidence upon which to judge them before we have a chance to get to know them and to draw our own conclusions. The paradox here is that people are lonely -- they want someone, somewhere, to fully understand them -- yet, they are afraid to let their personalities and actions speak for themselves. Why? They are afraid of being judged or misunderstood.

This behavior is a pre-emptive, deeply inculcated self-defense and survival mechanism which is reinforced by society.

When you hear someone speak about himself or herself, particularly about their strengths, what they don't like in others, and all of such introductory "profile information," take note. These are their points of personal sensitivity, fear or denial.

Use this knowledge to work more effectively with them. It almost always works for your benefit, and for the growth and personal benefit of the other person.

This is indeed a brilliant observation about behavioral psychology, but then again, I am never one to boast or brag [irony, here. just kidding].


Douglas Castle

Tags, Labels and Key Terms: behavioral psychology, deceptions, denial, first impressions, profiling personalities, better relationships, leadership, what motivates people, fears and phobias, self-growth, HR department, breaking down psychological defenses, understanding people, team-beuilding, leadership, Douglas E. Castle, quotations of Douglas Castle, TNNWC Services, TNNWC Buzzworks, Human relations, power and perception, reading people, sending signals, lying, self-defense, sociopathy, the inner-child, Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs, seeing through the fog, cues to personality, DouglasCastleBlogosphere, blogs, The National Networker Weekly Newsletter, DSM IV, persuasion, seduction, recruitment, friendships, business skills, Human Resources, choosing partners, reading between the lines,


Douglas Castle -
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Douglas Castle -
Background, Blogs and Sites

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